Monday, July 23, 2012

Early pregnancy loss.  I am devastated.  I don't have the strength for this.  How do I explain to Channah why I am falling apart.  She is terrified of what happened last year because she sees me crying.

I am sitting on my bed sobbing.  I can't do this again.

I am standing at the edge of a cliff I know all to well and watching while the outcropping that has supported me crumbles under my feet.  I am frozen to the spot and am going to fall.

Smirnoff lemon ice for the ache.  Percocet for the pain.  Clonex for the tears and tonight an ambian to sleep. Trying to remember to wait between each one or I will end up in Emergency for mixing meds, blood loss and dehydration by morning.


  1. I'm so, so sorry to hear about this new loss.

  2. Oh Rachel...I want so much to hold you in my arms right now. I cannot tell you how sorry I am that you are going through this. I daven for you every Shabbos with my candles, every time I bake challah and every time I visit the mikvah. May our prayers be answered soon without any more heartache.