Feeling a little blah tonight. I remember lighting candles last Chanukah and thinking how wonderful this year would be once we were a family of four. Most of the time I really am doing much better, but once in a while I just have a moment where I remember how excited I was at this time last year.
It just seems a little hard to say shehechiyanu after a year like this one. Even sheasah niisim laavoteinu... bazman hazeh seems like it does not really apply to me right now.
Maybe next year...
Special occasions are always going to be harder. At least it also shows that Gabi will never be forgotten. May your Tefillah be answered so that next year you will be able to say the full Bazman Hazeh.
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