Starting a new medication for the depression.  Feel like a drug addict because I asked for something.  Was just not working well with no outside help.  I did not realize knowing I need help was such a bad thing.

Great news coming at me from literally every corner while we are busy failing another cycle.  Yeah.  Stinks.  Especially since the next one will likely run in to pessach so be cancelled.  At least it will be hopefully at Shaarei Tzedek instead of at trigger-ridden Hadassah.

Purim is ready.  Not sure I am going to get through it.   I want to cry and am taking medication in anticipation of a major panic attack for the first time in a long time.  Last year we pretty much skipped it all together.  A tiny seuda with close friends, megillah reading at home.  This year we are going to the shul, to the shpiel after, to megillah reading at my uncles's tomorrow, made a ton of mishloach manot, are hosting seuda for 14, and all in all going all out.

Seuda is mostly ready.  The games for the seuda are done.  The cooking is as done as it should be for now.  A little more tonight, and the meat tomorrow.  I just need to set the tables and get it all ready to go.  Little touches like XXX across the water pitcher and maybe a couple wanted posters for the walls.

We are going to megillah at my uncle's in the hospital so we have done out best to make that happy too.  Funny hats.  Pictures for his walls.  Mishloach Manot for everyone.  Hope it brings some purim cheer to someone as I know it is the only way I am going to manage to keep a smile on.

At least I know I am spending most of chag with good company.

I can do this right?