My thoughts, arguments with God and rants after having a stillborn baby girl at 32 weeks.
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I think the library that you're making is a wonderful celebration of Gabi - maybe get Channah involved in that as a way to celebrate her birthday? Maybe she could write a special book about how she feels about her sister, etc., and it can go in the library for other kids to read? Or maybe do what I've read other people have done, like writing a message on a balloon and letting it fly. Just a couple of thoughts... thinking of you and wishing you extra strength to get through the next few days.
We celebrated our James' first birthday just about a month ago & like you I couldn't imagine it being a "celebration". Although it was a day of raw emotion, we tried to include some opportunity for celebration with a birthday cake, balloons that we sent to heaven so our living son had an opporutnity to see that despite his brother not being here with us, we still remember, honour and give gratitude for his life.
You have a been given a great gift, Channah loves her sister despite not being here on earth & wants to honour her life, her memory. No matter how it goes, your love for Gabbi will transend the tears, anxiety or whatever happens tomorrow.
You'll be in my thoughts tomorrow. Sending courage & strengh.
I am so sorry I did not see this before the English birthday, but in case Channah wants to celebrate on the Hebrew birthday, I had a thought. I keep hearing that we need to give grieving children simple and true explanations. One option is to tell her truthfully - "Everybody is different. It is wonderful that you want to celebrate Gabi's birthday, and you should. But for me, that day makes me feel really sad, so I won't be able to celebrate on that day. It is OK for us to feel differently about this day."
Maybe you could enlist the help of friends to help her choose a project, make or buy a treat, or whatever she wants to do, and you can all observe in your own ways.
I think the library that you're making is a wonderful celebration of Gabi - maybe get Channah involved in that as a way to celebrate her birthday? Maybe she could write a special book about how she feels about her sister, etc., and it can go in the library for other kids to read? Or maybe do what I've read other people have done, like writing a message on a balloon and letting it fly. Just a couple of thoughts... thinking of you and wishing you extra strength to get through the next few days.
ReplyDelete--D
We celebrated our James' first birthday just about a month ago & like you I couldn't imagine it being a "celebration". Although it was a day of raw emotion, we tried to include some opportunity for celebration with a birthday cake, balloons that we sent to heaven so our living son had an opporutnity to see that despite his brother not being here with us, we still remember, honour and give gratitude for his life.
ReplyDeleteYou have a been given a great gift, Channah loves her sister despite not being here on earth & wants to honour her life, her memory. No matter how it goes, your love for Gabbi will transend the tears, anxiety or whatever happens tomorrow.
You'll be in my thoughts tomorrow. Sending courage & strengh.
I am so sorry I did not see this before the English birthday, but in case Channah wants to celebrate on the Hebrew birthday, I had a thought. I keep hearing that we need to give grieving children simple and true explanations. One option is to tell her truthfully - "Everybody is different. It is wonderful that you want to celebrate Gabi's birthday, and you should. But for me, that day makes me feel really sad, so I won't be able to celebrate on that day. It is OK for us to feel differently about this day."
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could enlist the help of friends to help her choose a project, make or buy a treat, or whatever she wants to do, and you can all observe in your own ways.