It has been just over 4 months since I lost my 2nd baby, and almost 7 1/2 years since my first one was born.  Today she finished kitah aleph.  I never thought I would have a child going in grade school before having another.  Of course, I never thought I would be married 13 years with only one precious little girl.  I am so incredibly proud of how she is growing up- but it makes me sad that as each stage passes I don't know if I will ever see it again.

One of the reasons I was so incredibly excited for Gabbi was that it would take the bitter  out of the bittersweet moments I have as Channah grows up and moves on.  I would have had only the sweetness of watching her grow up without the bitter taste of knowing it is the last time xyz will happen.

I am watching her clean out her school bag from the year and it is making me a little sad.