Sunday, June 5, 2011

Show went great.  Shabbat was really nice, so why am I in such a crabby/stupid/moronic mood today?

Seriously I am stressing over everything (even though I had a really productive day and got all my new website photos done of this season's work and got them all edited and started putting them on line and did some repairs and restructuring to my website).  I went for a walk, got in some retail therapy- yet I still feel like I want to kill anyone who comes anywhere near me?

I tried to stick my shoe in my purse and my phone on my foot.  I ran out to a doctor at the mercaz before checking to see if the sniff was even open (it wasn't) so started heading over to the other branch before even thinking to call the main line to see if there were any family doctors working in our kupah anywhere in Beit Shemesh at all tonight (there aren't).  I tried to stop at a new bakery only to discover they were essentially closed.

Oh, and I found out that it looks like one of the two family doctors who I really like is no longer working at my sniff.

Meantime the blood test results that were supposed to be in today to I could give them to my shrink tomorrow aren't.  There is a slim chance they might come in by 9 but if not chances are I will not have them by the time I need them, which means I will not be allowed to keep taking the medication that is actually sort of almost working.

I am full of nervous energy for some reason, feel like I am going to cry.  I totally feel like God is playing games with my body right now and I SERIOUSLY DO NOT APPRECIATE IT.  I am inisanely furious with the way God is choosing to treat me right now and the next person who tells me God does not give you more than you can handle is going to get shot.

I am, like, so full of nervous energy I am shaking.  My blood sugar is going nutty and I have no idea why.  I am going to call the endocrinologist tomorrow to try to get an appointment asap as I have no idea what is going on.  I have a raging headache, not a migraine, just the headache of a lifetime and my brain feels like it is on speed and running circles around the inside of my skull.

I am at a total loss as to how to calm down.  I am frustrated, angry, furious and doing dumb things and all for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON.   Yes I know everyone can have a bad day but this is totally getting ridiculous.

I can't make my brain stop doing really dumb things.  HELP!!!!


  1. Any chance that the meds (even a slightly higher dose tan your body can handle) are doing this? Any updates?

    Concerned about you.

    Maybe some unintentional caffeine or alcohol has impacted? (Even alcohol in a cake can keep some of its potency.)

    :( TR

  2. TR am I supposed to know who you are from the signature? I really have no idea. I do not drink, not coffee not alcohol, and it was just a one time thing. Doctor said maybe there was something wrong with the pill itself. These things happen.