Wednesday, June 29, 2011

What do you do when you just can't stop the tears from coming? Where do you turn when you feel like even God has turned his back? This is not rhetorical. I am looking for practical suggestions. This has been the worst 4 months of my life and it just keeps going downhill, and I am not sure how much more I can handle.

Yes I know I have the hugest of brachot in Channah and Jason. And I know I have friends and family who love me. But that does not help at 1 in the morning when I can't stop The Sad no matter how I dress it up.

1 comment:

  1. I just saw this blog, but remember you from Babycenter and Jewish Women's Forum. I'm so sorry about your loss.

    I wish that there was some magical way to take away the pain, but there isn't. The best that I can do is to say that it may help to give yourself and break and realize that yes, this is your time to mourn and feel sad.

    I lost a 2nd trimester pregnancy 12 years ago. I know that I can't compare it to your loss, but I can tell you that I - as a person with no history of depression who had always been known for emotional stability - felt the need to go off and cry for an hour. Every. Single. Day. For a year. It didn't stop when I got pregnant again - I just added a layer of paranoia to the depression. Trying to put on a happy face made things worse, because it took up so much emotional energy.

    No, you won't always feel this bad. 12 years later, I'm no longer in pain, although reading stories like yours brings back the memories of the experience. I can even see ways in which going through hell ultimately changed me for the better. It's just something that takes MUCH longer to recovery from than most people expect.

    May you find comfort soon.

    I did find an article called Prayer Babies on the site which was helpful for me.