Thursday, May 12, 2011

I quit. God you win. You want to shatter every single piece of my soul you have done it. I have nothing left to give. I am broken. Eyond repair. I suck as a mother and as a wife. I am ready to dig my own grave, lie down in it and just wait to be sent wheber the he'll you see fit. Maybe I can help you. Plenty of toxic stuff around here to help me meet mym maker face to face.

I am sick of my life. I am sick of the tears and the pain. I am tired of having to be happy for everyone having babies while I am forced to wait with my precious little girl in a hole in the ground. No marker. Bugs and worms
eating her from the inside out.

I am tired of pain 24 hours a day. I want out. I want out of my life and I have given up on caring who the he'll needs me to behere for them. I want out. Sleeping pills, a knife, I don't care anymore. Nothing can hurt more than the pain I am living through.

My life is a nightmare. Maybe if I end the nightmare I can wake up and still be 8 months pregnant with my Gabbi. I went from so happy to so miserable in the blink of an eye. Please god. I know you can stop my heart in an instant. Just do it and make the pain stop.

I want to die. Please god just let me die. Please. I can't live with this pain anymore.

1 comment:

  1. Rachel - what has happened?! Sick with worry for you...