Ok, so today other than spending most of my day in bed sleeping (I feel like I have been awake for a million years) I am feeling almost human again.  Not looking forward to tomorrow and Sunday as it feels more like I am waiting for a couple of funerals than my birthday and mother's day.  Birthday messages have started coming in and although each one is meaningful and wishes me a better year than the last one (yeah, like that is hard at this point) each one is still a little stab because I am bing spoiled and complaining about not  getting the gift that I wanted.

I know that I have no right to  behave this way.  I have a husband and a daughter who love me unconditionally, a roof over my head, food on our plates, etc.  But my brain has a mind of it's own (see what I did there?).

Jason was at my sweet 16 so as of this birthday we will have officially known each other for more than half my life.  Scary how time flies.  Hard to believe we were not dating yet though- it was not until December of that year that we started.

Geez that means that we are coming up to the point where we have had Channah around for nearly half our total relationship!  I really can not begin to imagine life without either of them.  I just wish we had that brand new addition we were supposed to have to keep things fresh.

Please include prayers for a complete and healthy pregnancy followed but a healthy happy baby with your birthday wishes.  We all know what I will be wishing for as I blow out my imaginary candles this shabbat afternoon.