Thursday, May 12, 2011

Medication rebalanced. Feeling much better.

My life still feels like hell, but I am much more stable than I was this morning. It was just one too many things in a row in a week that really, really roller coastered.  I am 100000% thrilled for the piece of news that finally was the water-shed moment where I totally lost it, but it was just one last thing and it was the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak.

Please keep praying for a healthy and full term pregnancy, but also that the new medication keeps me a little more stable.  The new stuff is a brain relaxant so to speak that just helps take the edge off until such time as I can manage on my own again.  Sort of like a hug from Channah that sticks around in my brain and soothes the rough edges even when she is not around.  It works but it is definitely not as cute.

Sorry for worrying everyone this morning and making everyone panic.  I really was that bad.  I made an immediate appointment with my family doctor to help me, and made Jason stay with me every minute while I was at my worst.  In the meantime we managed to get a hold of my phsychaitrit who gave us the name of the new medication and the dosage for my family doctor to write the script.

So I really was in no immediate danger.  I did all the right things, I called my doctor and my phsychaitrist, I did not leave myself alone, and I pretty much locked myself in my room where there was nothing that could hurt me.

I am still sad.  I am still angry.  This has still been a week that comes in second only to the week we lost Gabbi in terms of how lousy I have been feeling, but I was not at any point in real danger.

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